“Major storms are headed our way. Most likely tomorrow morning between 2 am and 10 am.”
So said our friendly reliable weatherperson on the local news just before we jumped into bed on Friday night.
Lisa tossed and turned all night, anticipating the stormy weather.
We were part of two nasty spring storms, one which totaled both of our cars (at the same time) and one that dropped so much hail, it looked as if it had snowed. So, we still get a little edgy come spring time.
I was up at 7am with the child. No Storms.
She slept in til 9 am. No Storms.
We decided to head to the Flea Market. No Storms.
Here’s What I’m Thinking:
Its amazing how our wonderfully delightful and always chipper weatherperson royally missed it
.
Its amazing that the weather doesn’t always act like the computer model thought it would
.
Its amazing that weather speeds up, slows down, storms disintegrate, some form out of no where. Some hit us unexpectedly, some totally miss us, even though we are ready for them.
Our marriages are living and breathing things. Much like the weather. They slow down and speed up, they have good days and bad, grey clouds and crystal clear blue skies.
No computer model can tell us what the weather is going to be tomorrow in our marriages.
However…like the Wondrous Weatherlady:
Weather people Monitor the situation. They constantly stand in front of their really cool tech gadgets and begin to see patterns in the atmosphere. As they monitor patterns, they can begin to predict what the weather may do.
Question: How closely are you paying attention to your spouse? How often do you slow down and really look at what your spouse is going through? Are you only concentrating on yourself?
It’s important to reflect. To think about your relationship. Where you are now, where you have been, and where you want to go.
Our friendly local weatherperson alters the forecast as the weather changes. But there is very little they can actually DO about the weather.
This is where we have an advantage! Our Marriages ARE NOT the weather. We can change what happens in our
forecast.
If communication is not working, we can change it. We can change our actions toward our spouse, how we react to our spouse, what we say, or what we do.
We might not be able to change the mood our spouse is in, but we can change the way we respond and interact when they are upset.
In nearly 11 years, Lisa and I have had several things to adjust to:
A child, money, good jobs, no jobs, upset about jobs, bad cars, no cars, beat up cars, destroyed cars, in-laws, messy houses, unexpected health issues, ups, downs, ins and outs… all of these effect how we respond and react. There are new challenges every day in marriage. We have to learn how to adjust and respond to the circumstances we find ourselves in!
Storm coverage today is much more intense than it used to be. Weather forecasters alert you when they think there is a storm possible. They spend most of their air time saying things like “there is possible rotation with these storm cells, so if you live in Smallville, you should be in your safe place.”
There are days when I’m stressed and feeling down, under a gloom cloud. These are days where Lisa should perhaps find a low lying area in the house, away from any exterior windows (if you know what I mean). Of course there are other days when she
is under the dark cloud, and it’s my turn to grab a mattress and go to my ‘safe place’. (I’m joking, but you get my point, right?)
We have to communicate when we’re upset, Communicate when we are down, Communicate so our spouse can give us room.
It doesn’t always work, but if they don’t know what’s coming before it happens, there will be some difficult moments ahead!
In our house, we usually wait for the ‘seven day forecast’. Then we turn off the news.
We mentally prepare for the days ahead.
What is the seven day forecast in your household? Have you scheduled a Date night this week? What about a game night with the family? A cup of coffee late afternoon with your honey? A night where the kids can spend the night with inlaws or friends?
Maybe it’s a busy week. The final draft of the project is due in two days, the kids have basketball games on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, plus your wife’s dentist appointment is on Friday so you have to pick up the kids.
Sit and talk about these things together before they happen, that way, you mentally prepare for what is coming up in your week, and can adjust your expectations of the coming days ahead.
If you don’t plan ahead, many times our relationships take a back seat while life keeps plowing ahead full steam.
*Pay attention to your relationship.
*Continue to grow in your communication. If something isn’t working, change it!
*Prepare together for the week ahead, and adjust your expectations.
Question: How’s the weather forecast in your household?
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